Oodles of randomness

I really don’t have a specific topic in mind, but I knew it was time for another post (okay way past time), so here’s a little randomness from my life lately.

Yesterday was my one year wedding anniversary!! I can’t believe it’s already been a year. This year, I’m so calm, so happy at work, and living a normal, everyday existence; last year at this time I was a hidden bundle of nerves and stress. I was thinking back on the wedding planning process, and I never really got too stressed, which was funny; I was working at my full-time job and filling in for two vacant full-time positions, one of which was a high-profile position working for our board members. I was working late nearly every day, and bringing work home every night. My mom kept calling me and asking if I’d done certain things for the wedding – I had everything all planned out in my mind, but the procrastinator in me just hadn’t gotten around to actually doing it yet. My aunt finally suggested I take off a day a week leading up to the wedding, which ended up being a fantastic idea; my mom and I spent each of those days doing wedding things, and I probably couldn’t have gotten it all done without that time (although I did save writing the ceremony, choosing the music, and making placecards, menus, and other paper items for the night before the ceremony…I seriously do my best work at the last minute).

Today I felt so sad. I don't really know why, but no longer being a newlywed for some reason makes me feel old. It's kind of like the day after the wedding...we went to breakfast with my family, and I didn't want to leave because it meant the wedding was officially over. Later that day I went to the grocery store, and I remember standing at the checkstand, thinking, "No one knows I was a bride yesterday. Nobody thinks I'm special right now; I'm just like everyone else, doing normal, everyday things like going to the grocery store." My friend told me the day after her wedding she sat on her hotel bed and bawled because the wedding was all over; I totally know how she feels.

Sunday it was 107 outside, so Grant and I spent a lazy day inside watching movies. We went out to dinner to celebrate, although we didn’t make it out until almost 8:00 p.m. because of the heat. We had a great dinner, and then Grant had a great day off on Monday, which he told me he took to celebrate our anniversary. By himself, apparently, since I was at work. We broke out our one-year old cake when I got home, had a piece, and then Grant went to school. I spent my anniversary evening helping Renee make invitations for her own wedding this August; I thought it was appropriate to do wedding-related stuff last night.

Here are a few pictures from last year, just for fun!


PDawg, aka my sister-in-law Heather. (And what a good shot of my absolutely-freaking amazingly beautiful bouquet!)


A shot of our candy bar. I wasn't going to do this because I tried to stay away from all things trendy at the wedding, but I'm glad I did it. I didn't have to buy any of the jars because Mom has so many glass containers (her antiques finally came in handy!) and it was a huge hit with all the guests (children and adults alike...and the reception staff).


Me and Grant, being cute, listening to toasts. I need to watch the video because I still don't remember what my dad said, but all my friends said he made them cry.


You may not be able to tell, but that is my cousin under my dress. What is she doing, you might ask? Trying to bustle me. It wasn't easy.


This is me laughing hysterically at my cousin under my dress. You know you are too.

Saturday was Renee's bridal shower, and it was so much fun! I threw it with a few other bridesmaids, and we spent Friday night getting the food ready and making the favors. I was up until 4:00 a.m. Friday night (Saturday morning, I guess), making the stuffing for stuffed mushrooms and making cinnamon & sugar tortilla chips for the fruit salsa (which I may never make again, because they were the bane of my existence that night/morning).

I’ve realized how much I love hosting parties! I like making food, setting it all out on adorable serving platters, and just having people over. I’ve gotten to practice a bit this year – Mom’s retirement party and Renee’s shower – but this Saturday will be my first party at our new house! I can’t wait…we have this great kitchen counter that is HUGE and can hold all the food, and we live on a court so there should be a nice space for fireworks.

If only parties didn’t cost so much, I’d have them all the time! I am beginning a nice collection of serve-ware, so at least I won’t have to buy platters, trays, bowls and the like anymore. I mean, I can, and probably will, but I don’t have to.

OMG I was tagged!!

This is so cool, I was tagged! Heather tagged me in a post called "Show me your heart."

The tag: "with as much creativity as you can muster, show your heart in: a picture, a poem, a song (or piece of music), a phrase (or quote), an item of clothing, a place, and (just for fun) a Disney princess. If you want to join in, tag 6 more blogs."

I think I have mentioned to you all my complete and utter lack of creativity...yes? But I'll try.

A picture:



One week from today it'll be one year. Wow, time flies.

A poem:

I'm going to have to work on this one for awhile...check back later.

A song:

"How bout them cowgirls" by George Strait - it reminds me of my teenage years when I was young, carefree and naive. No, I didn't herd cattle or ride colts, but I baled hale and raised hundreds of lambs.

I felt the rush of the Rio Grande into Yellowstone
And I've seen first-hand Niagra Falls
And the lights of Vegas
I've criss-crossed down to Key Biscayane
And Chi-town via Bangor, Maine
Think I've seen it all
And all I can say is

Chorus:
How 'bout them cowgirls
Boys ain't they somthin'
Sure are some proud girls
And you can't tell 'em nothin'
And I tell you right now girls
May just be seven wonders of this big, old round world
But how 'bout them cowgirls

She's ridin' colts in Steamboat Springs
Bailing hay outside Abilene
She's tryin' hard
To fit in in some city
But her home is 'neath that big, blue sky
And the Northern Plains and those other wide open spaces
Now days there ain't as many

Chorus

But how 'bout them cowgirls
Boys ain't they somthin'
Sure are some proud girls
And you can't tell 'em nothin'
And I tell you right now girls
May just be seven wonders of this big, old round world
But how 'bout them cowgirls

Boy, she don't need you and she don't need me
She can do just fine on her own two feet
But she wants a man who wants her to be herself
And she'll never change, don't know how to hide
Her stubborn will or her fightin' side
But you treat her right and she'll love you like no one else

Yeah, how 'bout them cowgirls
Boys ain't they somethin'
Sure are some proud girls
But you can't beat their lovin'
And I'll tell you right now girls
May just be seven wonders of this big, old round world
But how 'bout them cowgirls

How 'bout 'em boys

A phrase:

"Comparison is the thief of joy." - Skinny Bitch

An item of clothing:

Okay, so it's not an item of clothing, it's a quilt. But really, can there be a better symbol of cozy, homey, loveliness than a quilt? I didn't think so.



A place:

Small town America. When I think of the perfect place to live, I think of a large ranch outside a small town in middle America. This picture (courtesy of The Pioneer Woman's website) makes me think of that perfect place:



A Disney Princess:

Cinderella: I love a Disney Princess who's also a maid. Long live the clean freaks!



Okay, so the final part of this tag is tagging six more people to do the same. I think four people regularly follow my blog, and one of them is Heather. So, I'll just tag those who are left and/or people I know who have a blog who might stop by.

The Arc
Kendal's Tendrils
Grateful for the Everyday

101 Things About Me

1. I met my husband at work. He was a contracted vendor and I was an employee, under my desk, butt sticking out, searching for a box.
2. Ask my husband what he remembers about when we met, and it’s the butt sticking out from under my desk part. Go figure.
3. I just bought my first house (with hubby) almost four months ago. It’s about a mile from where I grew up, even though I swore I’d never move back here.
4. I have two dogs, although only one lives with me. The other lives on acreage with my parents and has been adopted by my dad. She’d hate the suburbs.
5. I can’t wait to move back to the country and have a plethora of animals, both domesticated and farm, like when I was growing up.
6. I want my kids to grow up and be in 4-H and FFA like I was, but I also want them to play sports, unlike me.
7. If I have girls I want them to take dance lessons for ever so they’re comfortable dancing in crowds…I love to dance but never do it because I feel like I have no rhythm and look like an idiot.
8. I always thought working in an office would be cool, but now that I’ve been doing it for 9 years (next month) I think it sucks and now I don’t know what I want to do.
9. I want four kids, but only if I can be a stay at home mom when they’re young.
10. I’m terrified of having children. Pregnancy, birth, the whole thing – I don’t have them yet because I don’t know if I can do it.
11. I don’t play well with others. I hate working on teams at work or in school.
12. I like things to be done my way (did you get that from #11?). I’m working on compromising, but it’s a long battle.
13. I am obsessed with keeping things clean but at the same time I’m a natural born slob. It’s an internal struggle.
14. The only thing my husband and I fight about is cleaning. I voluntarily do all the cleaning, but ask that he just pick up after himself. He’s trying. I think.
15. I think vacuuming is calming.
16. I am a professional procrastinator. I think I do my best work at the last minute.
17. I don’t have any hobbies. Unless you count watching TV as a hobby.
18. I’m not passionate about anything. I like lots of things, and I enjoy doing lots of things, but if I had an unlimited amount of money to start a business doing something I’m passionate about, I couldn’t think of a business to start.
19. Besides the house I grew up in (17 years of living there), the longest I’ve lived in one house is 2 years and 2 months.
20. In nine years I’ve worked for six different departments.
21. I have excellent writing and grammar skills, although I don’t remember any of the rules of writing; I simply know when something is right or wrong (although if I’m writing fast like when I’m blogging, I may not go back and fix things, so please don’t point out all of my errors).
22. I hate my teeth. I didn’t take care of them when I was young like I should have, and now I’m paying the price.
23. I’m irrationally afraid of the dentist, even though my dentist is fantastic. I practically get an ulcer every time I have to go to a dental appointment.
24. I would love to be a writer for a living but I have writer’s block…all the time.
25. I have a lot of great ideas but I don’t follow through on anything. That’s probably my worst fault.
26. I love Donald Trump. I know, I’m sorry, but I do.
27. I hate most reality TV shows. The only one I really watched was Newlyweds with Nick and Jessica, and that’s because I had a non-sexual girl crush on Jessica.
28. I love to watch TV, and I own a TON of TV series on DVD.
29. I love to read, and I choose books by their cover. I’m usually pretty good at choosing great books this way.
30. I don’t like it when books become movies (except for Harry Potter). The movies are never as good as the books, and they ruin the way I imagine the characters (e.g. Confessions of a Shopaholic).
31. I was addicted to Starbucks and went two to three times a day, but I quit drinking coffee three months ago. I still want it every day, but so far I’ve been strong.
32. I would love to be in law enforcement, but I’m scared of criminals and I’d throw up at disgusting crime scenes.
33. I cry over everything – movies, books, weddings. I even cry when I’m angry.
34. I tend to be a loudmouth, yet I’m afraid of confrontation.
35. I don’t mind giving speeches (and even sort of enjoy it) but I’m terrified of raising my hand in class.
36. I’m comfortable speaking up at work, but won’t do it in class – I get nervous around people my own age.
37. I always wanted more siblings (sorry E!) because my mom had six sisters and they all do things together. I wanted a big group of siblings to hang out with.
38. I wish I was better at managing my money. I used to be a great saver, but I’ve become much more of an impulse shopper as I get older. I’m getting better again.
39. I’ve had more cell phones than anyone I know. I started buying them on eBay, using them for awhile, and then selling them again. I got an iPhone a few months ago, and I think I’ve finally broken the cycle.
40. I would love to be a stay at home mom, but I also want to be a high-powered corporate career woman.
41. If I had the chance to be a stay at home mom, I’d worry about the stigma attached to it when (and if) I was ever ready to go back to work.
42. I judge people based on first impressions. I know that’s not a good thing, but I’ve always done it.
43. Before I met my husband every relationship I had broke up after the first fight; I thought that a fight meant it was over.
44. I’m a selfish person, yet I love giving to others. I love giving gifts, doing nice things for people, and volunteering my time (although I don’t do much of that).
45. I’m a total control freak.
46. If I could be any TV character, I’d be either Monica from Friends or Samantha from Bewitched. Or any female law enforcement FBI agent/cop/detective.
47. I love to buy cars. I enjoy the car-buying experience and haggling with the salesmen.
48. My dad is my work idol. He was a great manager and director and I wish I could be just like him.
49. A Starbucks Iced Venti Latte is my perfect food (did I mention giving up coffee has been a struggle?).
50. I try not to let what others think matter, but it still does.
51. I often wonder what I would be/do if what others thought didn’t matter to me.
52. I think it’d be an awesome experience to be in the military, but I’m afraid I’d be shipped overseas.
53. I love rules and think everyone should follow them.
54. I love order, structure, and planning (I guess that goes along with #53).
55. I think I should have made this list “50 Things About Me.”
56. I love to shop, and it doesn’t matter what it’s for. I love the hunt of trying to find a specific item.
57. I went away to college. I chose the college because I’d just been dumped and it was the farthest college from home that I’d been accepted to.
58. I didn’t want to go to school and only went away because of getting dumped, and because my mom pretty much made me go. I came home after a year.
59. I often wish I’d stayed away at school and finished my degree, and had the typical college life. But, then I wonder where I’d be in life if I’d stayed. I’d never have met my husband, so although I sometimes wish I’d stayed, I’m glad I didn’t.
60. I don’t have any desire to finish my college degree because I don’t know what I want to do with my life, and I think what you do should be related to what you went to school for.
61. I don’t like ice cream.
62. I don’t have a favorite color.
63. My idea of a perfect night out is actually a night in – eating sushi in a clean and tidy home, watching Tivo or a movie.
64. I get stressed out when my house is messy.
65. I once did the Atkins diet and lost 35 pounds, but I gained it all back and then some.
66. I don’t particularly like meat, although I’m not a vegetarian. The Atkins diet was hard.
67. I get jealous very easily.
68. All of my past and current managers and coworkers think I’m an extrovert, but really I’m an introvert who’s a wannabe extrovert.
69. I think it’d be cool to be a newscaster.
70. I have zero artistic ability. I can’t draw, paint, match colors, sketch.
71. I have a fantastic long-term memory, and can remember really random things from my childhood.
72. My short-term memory sucks, and I often can’t remember things I did or said five minutes ago.
73. I wish I had interior-decorating skills.
74. I was raised Catholic but discarded organized religion as a teenager. I’ve always believed in God but thought it wasn’t “cool” to go to church.
75. I would love to find a church that feels like a “neighborhood” church from “back in the day.” I want to find a church where I know the other parishioners and the Fathers, and they know me and my family.
76. I sometimes wish my husband was religious, although I’m accepting of the fact that he’s not.
77. I like to read books on management, organization, and improving myself in general.
78. I’m an energy Nazi – I practically follow my husband around turning off lights after he leaves a room (which I realized is what my dad used to do to us kids!).
79. I love listening to music but have a hard time remembering band names or song names.
80. I easily remember numbers, especially phone numbers.
81. Although I love country life, I’d also love to live in a big city.
82. I raised sheep and goats as a child/teenager.
83. My cousin used to call me Goat Girl.
84. I don’t have any specialized skills; I’m more of a “Jack of all trades, master of none.”
85. I like to learn a little bit about a lot of things, but I’m not really interested in learning a lot about any one thing.
86. I love to swim but hate being in a bathing suit in front of other people.
87. I like to be the center of attention, but I’m also completely shy.
88. I’m afraid of failing.
89. I often think I’m an old woman trapped in a young woman’s body.
90. I wish I was Martha Stewart.
91. In my lifetime I’ve had six dogs, one cat, a few fish, a hamster, and hundreds of sheep and goats.
92. I’ve also had five cars.
93. The first brand new car I bought was a 2002 VW New Beetle, and it was a lemon. It died four times in three months and spent more time in the shop than with me.
94. I’ve always lived in the Northern California summer heat, but I hate hot weather.
95. I often think my husband is wonderful to put up with me and all the little things that bug me.
96. I kind of like doing yard work.
97. I’ve always wanted to raise cattle and horses.
98. I think it’d be awesome to live on a working cattle ranch.
99. I can’t wait to start a vegetable garden, even though I’ve never been able to keep a plant alive.
100. I love learning about other people by looking into their houses, purses, and cubicles, but I’m not a stalker. I seriously just like to know how people live and work (I might pick up some tips somewhere!).
101. I got the idea to do this list from the blog “Angry Julie Monday,” which I read for the first time today and absolutely love!

Purses for sale..and addiction. Yes, they go together.

Apparently I have an addictive personality.

There are many things that I am or have been addicted to, and probably many things in the future that I will be addicted to. So far there's been food, Starbucks, purses, office supplies (yes, office supplies). I've recently been tackling the food and Starbucks addictions; I'm learning about food and how it affects your body, which makes me more conscious of what I'm putting into that body. I'm also working on Starbucks; I haven't had coffee in about three months, which means I'm not going to Starbucks two to three times a day. Now, I've decided it's time to work on purses.

I've always loved purses. I remember in high school buying purses at Target and Walmart that I would use for months; one in particular was an adorable brown leather-like rectangular bag that I used for....

Sorry, I got a little off-track going down memory lane. Anyway, my point is that even though I used to buy a lot of purses, I bought them at Walmart, Ross, Target and the like. They were cheap, so if I bought one a month, it wasn't a big deal.

I remember when I started liking designer purses. I was totally content buying cheap purses that looked like they were pretty good quality bags when I worked for a woman who began buying Louis Vuitton purses off of eBay. I bought my first replica Louis Vuitton at age 22; technically I was 21, but it arrived in the mail the day of my 22nd birthday (Happy Birthday to me!).

I have a friend who had many Coach purses, and I loved the way they looked. I finally bought one on eBay a couple of years after buying that first replica Louis. It was an authentic Coach holiday purse, one of the patchwork designs...it was gorgeous! It was also $365. With the salary I was earning at the time, that wasn't exactly something I could afford on a whim.

I sold that first Coach bag on Craigslist not long after having bought it; total buyer's remorse. Again, I was content with my inexpensive purses until...Grant bought me a Coach purse for my birthday. It was gorgeous; light brown Signature Jaquard with white leather handles and trim. I used this purse for almost a year straight - the longest I've used any purse since I don't know when. I liked that purse so much, that eventually, I bought another one. Then another. And another.

My saving grace was that I bought almost all of my Coach purses and wallets at the Coach Factory Outlet store, and I only bought things that were not only at the outlet price but were an additional 20-60% off. However, I still bought too much.

Not long ago I began to think about why I was buying all of these purses. One, I liked the quality; these are sturdy purses that hold all of my junk, and once you tough high-quality leather, it's hard to buy a flimsy purse that may or may not hold everything you carry without ripping/splitting/breaking in some way.

Two, it was definitely a status thing. I had a Coach bag - I bought quality and everyone knew it. It was a great feeling to hand over that card and have the cashier know that I could afford to buy that bag (one thing to mention - I don't use credit cards, so I never charged any purses...I'm an all cash all the time kind of girl).

After thinking of why I bought these bags, I began to wonder - why did I need a "status" bag? It's not like I need anything else of status. The most expensive shoes I own are my Nine West heels, and I buy those at Marshalls. I get my clothes at Walmart, Target, Ross, and the like...I don't care about designer labels in clothes, I care only about how well they fit and how they make me look. I don't live in a high-class neighborhood; in fact we just recently bought our first house in a middle-class neighborhood and it's a modest, 1400 sq. ft. home...not huge by any means. So why was it that I lusted after designer bags and nothing else?

I still don't know. But multiple things lately have made me realize I'm over the addiction (or at least, I'm ready to overcome this addiction).

One - a friend recently told me she had to buy a new purse because the strap on her old one finally broke. Her old purse was...SEVEN years old. Why am I buying these high-quality purses designed to last for years if I don't use them for that long? No reason.

Two - yes, I may have the money to spend on these purses, but instead, I'd rather spend that money on other things. Furniture for my house, plants for my yard, and doing things with friends and family.

Three - I was rereading the book Skinny Bitch, and at the end of the book the authors have included lots of notes and tips. One note was, "Comparison is the thief of joy." As I read this it was like a light shone down on me from above and my mind became clearer than ever before. Every time I buy a purse, I think, "This is it, I love this purse, I never need a new one." Then, I see someone else's bag; I think, "Wow, I love that bag. If I had that bag, I'd never need another one." So I buy it, and the cycle repeats itself. I try so hard in other aspects of my life not to compare myself or my stuff to others, because I know that what others have doesn't matter; why is it that I continually compared my purses to others? It's ridiculous!

So, I decided to sell some of my purses. But then I realized, that's not enough. I can't keep even one or two of the ones I like best; to purge myself of the addiction, I have to go cold turkey, just like if I was a drinker or a smoker. So, after a few days of thinking about it, I decided to dump the whole lot (except the one Grant got me, which I don't use very much because I used it a lot and it was starting to show wear...I mostly am keeping it for sentimental reasons).

And now this long, drawn out post finally touches on the first part of the post title. I'm selling all of my purses, so if any of you out there in blog-land are interested, check out the link below to see pictures and descriptions of everything for sale, and post a comment if you're interested. Or, email me at seeaprilwork@gmail.com. First come, first served.

Well now - hope you've enjoyed my trip through my memories, my mind, and my addictions. I know, it's a rambling trip...thanks for making it with me!

Link to purses - click here.

I love old things

Well, I love old clothes. Specifically, today I love an old black pair of pants. They are technically old, but really, they're new, because I bought them thinking I'd lose weight and then never fit into them.

Today...THEY FIT!!!

Yay!

I can't sleep

It's 1:18 a.m., I have an 8:30 a.m. meeting tomorrow (well, today), and I can't sleep. I've already cleaned out my purse, folded some laundry, picked up the house, and perused the internet.

And yet, I can't sleep.

Tomorrow may suck.

Eating healthy is expensive - or is it possible I don't know how to shop?

Ever since I read about The Women in Red on MSN.com, I’ve been paying attention to my grocery bills. I spend a lot of money on groceries each month, and no matter where I shop, I can’t seem to bring those bills down.

I alternate between shopping at Winco, Bel-Air, Safeway, and Trader Joe’s. There are farmer’s markets this time of year that I need to take advantage of, but I keep forgetting to go. I shop at Winco for “big” shopping – a trend that I learned from childhood (because my parents got paid once a month (as do I) my mom did “big” shopping in the beginning of the month, buying $200-$300 worth of grocery staples, and shopping weekly for perishable items like milk and produce). I live very close to a Safeway and a Bel-Air, so I do tend to stop in there for quick things or when I shop on Sundays to get lunch items for the week.

At the beginning of this month, I took my mom to Winco for the first time. I’ve been telling her for years that Winco and Super Wal-Mart have great grocery prices, but for as long as I can remember, she has shopped at Lucky’s (until they were no more), Bel-Air and Safeway. She has recently retired, so she decided that she’d better start cutting back on expenses and decided to give Winco a try.

We had a GREAT time. Seriously, at Winco. We were there for almost two and a half hours, because we went aisle by aisle, and we had to keep stopping so that Mom could exclaim over the prices. “April, would you look at this?! This is $4.00 at the store, and here’s it $1.99!” She was hilarious, because she stopped to do that probably three to four times per aisle.

When we checked out, she had an almost-overflowing cart of items, and spent just under $150 (needless to say, she was ecstatic). Inspired by Mom’s good fortune, I went back to Winco this month to do some shopping. I went last Sunday and meant to only shop for the week; however, I did end up buying several items that would last multiple weeks (meat mostly, plus other things I could freeze like bread). I had about a half-cart of items, and spent just over $150. On groceries for the week, and some meat.

Yes, $150.00.

My problem that time was that I had a list, but I didn’t go by it. I usually make a list and then get to the store, and instead of following my list, I go aisle-by-aisle, in case I’ve forgotten to put anything on my list.

This week I didn’t need much, just fruit and veggies for the week, plus some lunchmeat. It was late last night when I headed to the store, so I just went down the street to Safeway. I actually hate Safeway – when I lived in Midtown there were two Safeways within six or so blocks of my house, and there were no other grocery options unless you crossed over the river and went to Super Wal-mart, which was not a “quick trip to the store.” I don’t know if I don’t like them just because I was forced to shop there for so long, or what, but they don’t seem to have the best prices or great specials.

Anyway, I digress. So I headed to Safeway just to buy fruits and veggies for the week, plus lunchmeat. I didn’t have a list, but to my credit I didn’t go aisle-by-aisle, either. I think that I just don’t know how to go grocery shopping; I left the store with $40.31 worth of groceries in my cart (not even two full bags), and according to my receipt, that was after I’d saved $9.39.

Now remember – there are TWO of us in my household. Just two. Well, and Bruiser, but we don’t let him eat people-food because he is slightly bulimic, so it would just be a waste of money.

Here’s what I bought yesterday, along with their “club-card” prices…maybe someone can tell me what I’m doing wrong? I’m really trying hard to buy enough groceries so that I’m prepared for the week and will continue eating healthy; I’m focusing mostly on whole, non-processed foods, which is more expensive, but hello, I need to lose weight and get in shape.

Mission Whole Wheat Tortilla, Fajita Size 3.79
Organic Large Brown Eggs 3.99
Good Housekeeping (okay, I know I shouldn’t have bought that…) 2.50
Nectarines (2.08lb at 2.99lb) 6.22
Apples (2.73lb at 1.99lb) 5.43
Carrots (3.02lb at .99lb) 2.99
Yellow Bell Pepper (.62lb at 1.99lb) 1.23
Tofu 1.5
Romaine Hearts 2.5
Strawberries 5
Ham 5
Bag credit (2 bags @ .03/bag) -0.06

-.06 (what a lame credit, .03 cents!?)

Grand total: $40.31

That just seems like a lot. I only bought five or six apples, which won’t even last us the week. Ditto the nectarines. The bell pepper will go on two or three salads, plus maybe some for dipping. The strawberries will last maybe three days between the two of us.

I should note – I used to despise fruit, so it’s huge for me to be eating (and enjoying) fruit now. Am I just enjoying the most expensive fruit around? Are there cheaper fruits I could be packing in my lunch?

I need help! How do you all plan your weekly meals? What do you make for lunches, and what do you make for dinners. Perhaps I suck at meal planning, and that translates into sucking at grocery shopping. Maybe my lifetime of eating packaged foods, convenience lunches, and Pasta-roni dinners has just made me blind to how much real, fresh food costs.

What do you think?

Now I've gone and done it

Without getting too deep into it, let’s just say I am a white girl, through and through. I am pasty, pale, and at times during the dead of winter, transparent. I can thank my Polish, German, Scottish, English, etc., ancestors for that.

I used to yearn for skin like some of my friends had: beautiful, smooth skin that always had some sort of color. My skin doesn’t have the correct pigment to tan; when I get some sun, I just turn red, and when that initial redness turns into a “tan” it’s not really a tan…just a deeper shade of red.

In recent years I’ve given up yearning for other people’s skin. I know I can’t transform my red/white skin with little red bumps and spider veins into a smooth, golden dermis. I’ve accepted that I’m pale, pasty, and transparent, and have resigned myself to being the pale person with healthy skin as I get older, rather than the leathery yet tanned women I’ll age with. (And as I lose weight, it gets easier to accept this; when you’re heavy, pale skin is worse…you can see all the lumps, bumps, and imperfections, whereas when your skin is tan, somehow you look thinner and smoother overall.)

I know what you’re saying – why don’t I use self-tanner? I’ve tried that. I’ve used sprays, lotions, bronzers; I am apparently not at all adept in applying self-tanner. I miss my ankles, I have streaks down my calves, and I don’t know why, but that stuff does not dry on my skin! Even the lotions that build a tan over time don’t work; I let them dry for 10, 20, even 30 minutes, and they’re still tacky. I’ve given up. Plus I forget to use them regularly.

Yesterday, I seem to have forgotten my vow to remain pale. At a work team-building event, I rolled up the sleeves of my t-shirt and sat, sans sunscreen, in the hot sun for four hours.

What a mistake.

Today I am in pain. Oh, how I’ve forgotten the pain sunburn can cause. It’s not just the hot, burning feeling, either. I feel like my arms ache from the inside out; my muscles hurt, and just sitting at my desk is causing me great distress.

I’ve only had a worse sunburn once in my life. During my first year of college, I spent a day at the beach. It was the end of the year, and some friends had come to visit. I don’t remember if I fell asleep, or just didn’t want to turn over and squint into the sun, but I spent the entire time lying on my stomach.

Later that night, the back of my legs began to itch. Finally, I peeled off my jeans and the angry flesh beneath was revealed. Oh, the pain. The backs of my legs were redder than red, and were blistered to boot (yep, 2nd degree burns). I couldn’t bend my legs very well, because the burn was right behind my knees, too.

To make matters worse, the yahoos in my dorm decided that night to pull the fire alarm – four times. I lived on the top floor of the dorm, and had to hobble up and down three flights of stairs four times that night. It was sheer torture.

Today, I think I’m actually redder than I was that time, but I’m thankful I don’t have blisters. I’m also trying to avoid people whenever possible, because I’m tired of people’s eyes bugging out of their heads when they catch a glimpse of me. And of course there’s the, “Oh, you got some sun, huh?”

Just once I want to say “No” and wait to see their reaction.

Today’s lesson – buy sunscreen. Lots of sunscreen.